Enjoy Them Where They're At

As I was washing dishes this morning, by boys were playing on the floor. Caleb, who can now sit up on his own like such a big boy, was playing with some toys and 'talking' to Ethan, while Ethan colored with Color Wonder markers(one of the best inventions ever). As I watched them play and love and enjoy each other, I was reminded to enjoy them at whatever stage they are in. I tend to think towards the future too much; how nice it will be when Caleb can walk, when Ethan can dress himself, when I'll get a full nights sleep. And while these are all good things, and should be looked forward to, I can't forget to also love and enjoy every stage.

I do love my children. I definitely believe that I enjoy them. And I hope to always enjoy them, even when they are no longer my child, in the sense of my authority over them, and are instead my peers.

Personally, I hope to be finishing up having babies around the time that my children start having children. This may sound strange to some, and, who knows, God may have it that I have no more children after I turn 30. I'll be happy with whatever God has for me. Right now, though, at this moment, while I have two children a little over a year apart, and sometimes it seems like certain things will never end...I know that someday it will, and I don't want to regret not having enjoyed them when they were little.

They are growing up so fast...so fast that I have trouble remembering that Ethan was once as small as Caleb. Thankfully we have taken a lot of pictures. I have trouble imagining just what Caleb will be like as he gets bigger, and goes from being a baby to toddlerhood. And while I am enjoying this stage where he isn't yet mobile(beyond rolling), I also know that I will enjoy him when he is walking, running, jumping and yelling, just like Ethan.

Awesome Blog

This post helped put me in the right mindset, so I just had to share it with everyone.
We've been adjusting back to real life, with Michael heading back to school yesterday. Of course, it isn't real Navy life, since he still comes home every night, and actually has a fairly light schedule considering he's taking 18 credit hours.
Anyway. I've been feeling a bit stressed...the house seems like its in a perpetual state of disorder, we're dealing with the mistraining(is that even a word?) of Ethan that occurred during our trip to New York, and just general blahs. This one blog is so encouraging, and just what I needed to set my sights back on what is important. May God's glory always be my vision!

Catch It While You Can

We are now undergoing 'official' potty training. Last night, we bought a step stool for Ethan, so that he can get on the potty by himself. We discovered this past weekend that he was able to get off the potty by himself, which I was very excited about. Ethan was so excited to be able to take off his underwear, and climb on the potty, like such a big boy. He pretty much entertained himself by climbing on and off for the next 20 minutes. Of course, he also stuck his hand in the potty and splashed, but we cleaned him up, and instructed him that we do not put our hands in the toilet, nor anything else.
As some know, Ethan has been going on the potty since he was about 5 months old. Before he was born, I had heard about a thing called Elimination Communication from my friend Chick. At first I thought it was pretty weird. After all, wasn't I going to be doing enough using cloth diapers instead of disposables? But, my husband was interested, and so I decided to keep an open mind. We did a little bit of research, and Michael and I both remembered hearing about this from Micheal and Debi Pearl in an article years ago. However, I wasn't completely sold, and after Ethan was born was in such a sleep-deprived stupor that the thought really didn't cross my mind at all for a few months.
Then we started Ethan on solid food. Cleaning dirty diapers became quite gross after that, but everyone that I knew took it as a matter of course that this was part of parenting. You just do it. One day, I went to go change Ethan's diaper, and noticed that he was still dry. He hadn't gone in over an hour, and my Mom suggested putting him on the potty. She had read an article on EC, and thought that it was a neat idea, so why not try it? I took one look at the potty, while holding my little 5 month old, and had no idea how I would even put him on it without him falling in. Michael, thankfully, was there, and showed me how to put him on. If I remember correctly, he sat Ethan facing the back of the toilet, and sat behind him to give him support. Low and behold, the next thing I knew, my baby was peeing in the toilet!
Over the next few weeks, we went out and bought I potty seat insert, which helped a lot in Ethan's comfort and ease of having him go. My goal at first was just to have him pee, but naturally he started having bowel movements. We would sing a song, and make a big deal about what a big boy he was being. And he would smile and laugh, and make it look like it was the most natural thing in the world. Soon, I was able to tell his cues, and rarely if ever did I have to change a dirty diaper. I was able to put him on "real" potty seats with no problem, until he hit about a year, and then he would only go on a padded insert. However, that stage only lasted for a few months, and by the time he was 16 months old we could put him on a real potty at church.
He really only went number 2 on the potty, and rarely if ever would I be able to catch him in time to go pee. We've had times of setting timers, but he would usually pee before the timer went off, or just a little would come out, or we wouldn't be able to 'make' him go on the potty. I would take him before nap time, before bed, and when he first woke up in the morning. My goal was to originally have him fully potty trained by Christmas, but then we went to NY for the holidays, and he regressed a bit instead. But, we are home now, and Michael is back to school so our schedule is a bit more normal. I'm planning on 'hunkering down' for the next week, setting my timer, and spending a lot of time in the bathroom.
Any advice would be much appreciated, as I really don't know what I'm doing. At least Ethan's not afraid of the toilet, and he willing goes on it. My biggest thing right now seems to be that when I tell him no to something, he sometimes pees. Some of the questions that I have are should I use diapers at night and when we go out? Or should I just use training pants and make sure to bring a few changes of clothes, and for night, wake him up periodically to take him potty. I don't want my son to continue to wear pull-ups until he's 7, but then again, boys can have a harder time with night wetting, which isn't always a behavior issue. I've been trying to limit his liquid consumption before nap and bedtime, but as of right now its simply head knowledge, and not being implemented.
If anyone if wondering, we have been putting Caleb on the potty since he was about 3 months old, once he 'unfurled' himself, and could actually sit. I've been out of the habit of it though, and since I haven't started him on solids yet, his stool is still really loose and hard to tell when he's about to go. I have been putting him on the potty about once a day for the past week, though, as Michael and I don't want Caleb to have a fear of the potty. I figure that he will eventually get the hang of it, and once he starts solid foods he wll definitely be going on the potty.
No Greater Joy has a few really great articles on this topic. Michael and I try to be very relaxed about it. I've read horror stories of parents in the early 1900's being told to spank their children for not going on the potty. Thats awful. Potty training is not as issue of discipline, and never should be. Really, its more about habit than anything else. We just want our children to know that someday they will not go potty in their pants, and to get them used to that idea as early as possible. 'Catch it while you can' was one of the phrases that I heard for elimination communication, which I think expresses my idealogy on it succinctly.

Long Time No Post...

Wowser...I realized today that its been over two months since I last posted. I've thought about posting since then, a lot actually, but I just haven't been making the time. So what, you may be asking yourself, has been keeping me out of the blogosphere for so long? Quite a bit, I must say. Michael and I attended the Navy Ball in October (our first one ever!), and since I can no longer fit into any of my formal outfits from my teen years(thanks to my two wonderful beautiful boys :)), and everything off the racks is either WAY out of my price range or way too immodest for my tastes, I decided to make my own dress. I already had the fabric on hand, thankfully, so it just took a bit of time and effort. Thankfully I had just begun giving sewing lessons to a girl in my church, so she was able to help out quite a bit. And until October 18, pretty much every moment that I had alone was spent working on the dress. Which turned out beautifully, I must say. I'll post a picture as soon as I have a copy.

So, a week after the Navy ball I received a phone call from my Mom saying that she was coming out to visit...in one week! Woo-hoo! I was beyond excited. She and my brother Miles arrived on the 31st, and stayed for just about a week. It was so wonderful. Michael had a very slow week, so he was able to spend a lot of time with my family, who he loves very much. I love and miss my family so much, and I love it when they come to visit. Michael and I won't be going to New York for Christmas, unfortunately. Hopefully, if I can save up enough money from my grocery account, we'll be coming home in May for a couple of weeks. That seems like forever and a day away, but its sooner than later for us.

Back to the wonderful visit. I felt like Michael and I really got to connect with Miles again. Life has kept us all busy, and I haven't been as close with Miles over the past three years. I felt like, well, like we were a unit again, quoting Pride and Prejudice, and laughing at our insane similarities(we are such sanguines...). Ethan really loved Uncle Miles, of course. What kid doesn't want Miles to be his best friend? Ethan now says Mimi when my Mom calls me, and he goes and points to a picture of Mom and Miles that I have. He says 'My' for Uncle Miles. I'm so glad that Ethan was able to connect with them. Miles got to preach on the college of Charleston campus, and one of the days Mom, the boys and I went with him. I even got to talk to a few people. It was great to be 'back in the saddle again'. :)

We also went shopping, during which Miles kept Ethan occupied and even bought him a bouncy ball. What a great uncle! Michael, the boys and I got professional pictures taken at Waterfront park, which was a lot of fun. Afterwards, Michael and Miles bought some oysters, and we had a little oyster party of our own. Oh, and Mom watched Ethan while Michael and I spent 2 1/2 hours voting. Crazy! And, Miles fixed the hinges on my doors so that the don't squeak anymore, and did a great job washing the siding on our house. It looks so great!

Caleb will be 5 months old on the 16th. I feel like this has just come upon me suddenly. He's no longer an infant...he's rolling over, and trying to sit up...he's becoming a big boy. We even started putting him on the potty! I'll be writing about that next time. :) Ethan was only a month older than Caleb is now when we conceived Caleb. How weird is that?

Ethan is becoming such a little man. I've been 'doing school' with him over the past few months, thanks to a great website No Time for Flashcards. He now knows that letters A, B, and C. We're going to start on numbers this week, while playing with sidewalk chalk. I am amazed at how smart Ethan is, at his young age. And how different he is from other kids his age...well, how different every child is. I get so caught up in what a 'normal' child does that I tend to forget about the differences. Ethan knows more sign language than other children that I know his age, but he isn't putting words together, unlike some other boys that I know. He's just figuring out how to open doors, while one little boy I know has been doing that for months. How amazing that God has crafted each person so vastly different! And yet each handiwork of His is amazing and breathtaking.

To Vaccinate or Not To Vaccinate...

Over the past week, the subject of vaccinations has come up between my friends and I quite a few times. Previous to yesterday, all I knew was that certain vaccines were questionable, that Michael and I were still researching, and that we were waiting on vaccinating our children until they were older.

Ethan is going for is 18 month well-baby check-up next week. Since he is now walking (and running, and jumping...), I had planned on having him get a tetanus vaccine. However, before I had him get his first shot, I wanted to do some research.

What I found was so informative...and borderline shocking. I'm sure that most Doctors don't know what they are injecting infants, children and adults with. I know that I had always assumed that vaccines were simply the disease with a saline solution. I was sadly mistaken.

This website has the list of ingredients of most vaccines. The ingredients in the DTaP (Diptheria, tetanus, and Pertussis) vaccine? Formaldehyde, aluminum hydroxide, aluminum phosphate, animal by-product gelatin, and thimerosal. Some of the other routinely given vaccines include human diploid cells from aborted fetal tissue, chick embryo, and guinea pig embryo cells. The first question I asked myself was, do I really want those things injected into my son? The answer was no. Second question? What is thimerosal? This led me to this article. Thimerosal is a mercury based preservative that is also a potent neurotoxin. It was banned from vaccines in Russia 20 years ago. Denmark, Austria, Japan, Great Britain, and all the Scandinavian countries have also banned it. What do they know that we don't?

From the above article, "You couldn't even construct a study that shows thimerosal is safe," says Haley, who heads the chemistry department at the University of Kentucky. "It's just too darn toxic. If you inject thimerosal into an animal, its brain will sicken. If you apply it to living tissue, the cells die. If you put it in a petri dish, the culture dies. Knowing these things, it would be shocking if one could inject it into an infant without causing damage." If that isn't scary, I don't know what is.

Another article I found specifically talks about the tetanus vaccine, and about thimerosal. You can read it here.

There is also a link between autism and thimerosal. Prior to thimerosal being added to vaccines, there was no autism. You heard that right. Within the first year of thimerosal being added, autism was diagnosed. As many people know, the Amish community in large do not vaccinate. A reporter did a study of one Amish community is Pennsylvania. According to the amounts of autism in the 'general' population (non-Amish), there should have been 130 children with autism. There were four. One child had been exposed to mercury from power plants, one had been adopted from outside the Amish community, and thus had been immunized, and the other two had had their vaccinations.

The other question that lingers in my head is that I wonder if the cure is worth that the disease. Are we so scared of getting sick that we are willing to inject ourselves and our children with metals, preservatives, and animal and human byproducts? Especially since most of these diseases are treatable, and not fatal. Tetanus, for example, can be prevented by thoroughly cleaning any wounds...but if contracted, can be healed by antibiotics or pennicilin, with full recovery. Personally, I will make sure that my children always wear shoes when outside, do not play outside unsupervised, and if they get a scratch or cut, then I will cleanse it with hydrogen peroxide.

As for diptheria, it is also preventable by good nutrition and washing your hands. If contracted, you will fully recover unless it goes untreated. So, I will find out what the symptoms of diptheria are, so that if my children come down with it, I will know to have it treated.

And pertussis, also known as whooping cough? From what I have read, it is only fatal to those with a compromised immune system. I have a friend whose daughter has Cystic Fibrosis, which can affect the lungs. I would have a child with CF immunized...whooping cough could prove fatal to them. But for the average child who doesn't have that type of disease, I don't believe they would need to be immunized.

I don't know if I will ever have my children immunized. Perhaps if our government bans thimerosal from vaccines, I'll rethink it. Maybe if they stop putting cells from aborted fetuses in them, I'll consider it.

Until then, I will keep a close eye on the children God has given me; I will not allow them to be in the 'general population' (i.e. church nursery, daycare); I will make sure that we eat a healthy, nutritious diet (low sugar, high protein, whole grain); I will encourage my children to get plenty of sunshine and physical activity to strengthen their immune systems.

On a side note, I think that far too many parents are content with the status quo. Instead of searching and questioning why we do things, many people simply follow along, because it is what everyone else is doing, and because it is what their parents did before them. I'm not saying to go to a radical, extremist point of view, and do everything the opposite of everyone else...simply for oppositions sake. But I do think that we should analyze the things that we do, and the reasons for it. So our pediatrician says that all children should have x number of shots every few months...why? So our culture says that we should only have 2.5 children. Why? Many think that cloth diapering is just...weird. Why?

Perhaps its because my parents were hippies, maybe its because my husband is SO analytical...but I know that I have been taught for many years not to just do something because everyone else is doing it. At least, if you are going to do it, know WHY you are doing it, if for no other reason than that you will have an answer if anyone asks you. That you will know without a shadow of a doubt that you are doing the right thing....and this is the reason why.

Toughen Up

I've been musing on what to write for the past few days. I've been wanting to write since last Sunday, but life was too busy. :) There have been quite a few thoughts running through my head, and a lot of topics that Michael and I have been discussing lately. Child training is, of course, almost always at the forefront.

First off, I am so glad that I married Michael. Not just glad, but grateful. Last Sunday, we spent the afternoon with 3 other couples who have young children. One of the other moms was mentioning how well trained Ethan is. I told her that it was because of all the work that Michael had done. If left to my own devices, Ethan would be a very different Ethan. He would whine a whole lot more than he does. He would throw tantrums, that I am sure of. He certainly would not pick up his toys. And he most definitely would not sit silently through church. Michael opened my eyes up to the possibilities of what kind of training you can do with a child. Did you know that you can train a 13 month old to sit still and not fight while you cut their nails? Or that I 14 month old can sit through an hour and a half long church service without crying, whining, having toys or eating snacks? I had no clue at all. But, because Michael was the oldest of 6 children, he saw and experienced and learned what to do and what not to do with training children.

One of the things that we've been discussing is making sure that our children are tough. I think that this must be one of the hardest things for a mother to do. You think to yourself, if my child is crying then there must be something wrong. He needs me to comfort him, to let him cry, to continue to be the nurturer. In reality, your child, whether girl or boy, needs you, the parent, to toughen up. When they are toddlers, they are always falling. Ethan looks like an abused child with all the bruises that he has. It comes with the territory. Ethan has a nasty bruise on his eyelid because he fell into the bathtub the other day while I was giving Caleb a bath. There's a fading bruise on his forehead from when the front of one of his trucks collided with his noggin. He's a boy; he's a toddler; he is always getting into something.

There are friends of my family who have five daughters, ranging in age from 9 years to 3 months. These are some of the most feminine girls you will ever see...but they are also the toughest. My Mom has related to me the story of how one night at church one of the girls(6 or 7 years old) received a blow to the head with a guitar. My Mom was surprised to see that instead of crying or whining, she picked herself up, smiled, and went on her way. Now THAT is one tough little girl. Her father has a motto that it is his job to make the girls tough, and his wife's job to make sure that they are ladies. They are doing a great job with that.

I have a friend who has a 10 month old. We were in 'cry room' last Sunday while I nursed Caleb. Her son had recently become mobile, and was crawling and cruising all over the place. He is a joy to watch as he discovers and learns new things. He has a beautiful smile. At one point, he was cruising on the back of the chairs, and he tripped and fell. It must have hurt. He started crying, and my friend went right over, started apologizing to him, and continued to try and comfort him. He kept on crying. My friend is very tender-hearted. I know that she is comforting him because she loves him. I wish that she could see that comforting him every time he falls is not going to help him in the long run. Some people may see this as being 'mean'. Michael often jokes that I need to become a 'mean mommy' like he's a 'mean daddy'. If you don't teach a child now to pick himself up and stand on his own two feet, then when will you? Our job as parents is to put ourselves out of a job as soon as possible.

Children are fast learners. When they see that parents will run to their attention whenever they hurt themselves, they know that if they ever want their parents undivided attention, they have the perfect way to get it. Some may be shocked, and deny that their 'little angel' could be such a 'little devil'. Surely their child would not-could not sin in such a way. It is simply human nature.

Our children must learn to be tough, to stand on their own, to deal with rejection. As Christians, they will be rejected at some point in their lives. Michael Pearl says, "It is not a tough exterior that God desires or that people admire; it is a tough spirit, an overcoming spirit, a spirit of service, caring not for the sparse thanks, nor flinching at misunderstanding". The rest of that article is great on not raising a 'sissy' for a boy.

Michael often says that I am too soft with Ethan. Its true. It is due to my inconsistencies with Ethan that he is not a better-trained, more obedient child. I am striving to be more consistent with my training of Ethan, while not becoming 'mean' in the true sense of the word. Ethan is a joy. I want him to know that he is a joy. If Ethan falls and gets hurt around me, he usually cries. If he falls around Daddy...not a tear. Daddy says, "Get up", and Ethan does. He continues to play joyfully, as if nothing has happened.

I am tougher than some, though. People must see me as 'mean', especially older grandmotherly types. One time at church Ethan was playing with some older children, and he fell and hit his head on the podium. A grandmother nearby was ready to run to his aid, but I put my hand out to stop her, said that he was fine...and he was. He stood up, smiled, and continued to run and play with the other children. He's becoming an independent man, which is exactly what is supposed to be happening. I want him to know that if he falls and hurts himself, he will be okay.

What do I want Ethan to be like 15 years from now? Do I want him to be afraid to try new things, because he might get hurt, or do I want him to be adventurous, motivated, and fearless? He needs to know that mistakes will be made, that he will 'tumble and fall', and that Mama will not always be there to comfort him. He needs to know to continue on, even when he is in pain. He, being my firstborn, will have to take care of me and the younger children when Daddy gets deployed. He needs to be brave. The physical aspects of training him not to cry when he falls carries over to so many other areas of character. It will make his spirit strong, his mind strong, and his will strong.

Weekend of Fun

Michael had his last class on Thursday night, and he doesn't start the fall session until the 27th. Woo-hoo! On Friday, we walked up to the playground by our development's pool. Ethan had fun going down the slide with Daddy, going on the zip-line, and watching a frog. It started to rain on us(as Michael predicted), so we went home and laid the boys down for their naps. After Ethan woke up, I wanted to go and do something, but since we don't have a lot(or any) of money to waste on frivolous things, we decided to have a fun day inside.

Michael and Ethan built a fort out of blankets and furniture. Daddy builds much better forts than Mommy does. Ethan and Michael had a blast crawling through the tunnel. Ethan even had a snack in the fort.


After the fort building, Michael entertained Caleb while Ethan and I baked cookies together for the first time! As most know, I used to be the baker in my house. While I still am, I don't bake nearly as much as I used to. I'm down from twice a week to once every 3-4 months. In fact, I haven't baked since May. Wow!

Ethan had so much fun helpping me stir, and watching the Kitchenaid beat everything together. He LOVED the chocolate chips. I've been looking forward to having him help me in the kitchen, and am so happy that he's old enough to 'help' bake. Christmas is going to be so much fun this year when we decorate and bake cookies as gifts.

Ethan definitely enjoys helping me out...


Eating a chocolate chip...


Sweeping up our mess...


Enjoying the fruits of our labor...




Here's a picture of Caleb, smiling while on the table. Michael took quite a few of him while Ethan and I were making cookies. See their Nursery for more pics.


On Saturday morning, we went to a few yard sales, and spent a grand total of $12.50. The first place was a couple blocks away from our house, so the boys and I went at 8:30 while Daddy was still sleeping. I spent $5.50 and got a bunch of fall clothes for both Caleb and Ethan, and a pair of shoes for Ethan. They had a sand and water table for $5, which we came back with the car and bought an hour later. Its in great condition, and has a castle that goes in it and everything. Ethan will have fun this summer, but he and Caleb are going to have even more fun playing with it together next year.

We then went to the Navy base, where they were having a community wide yard sale. We went to two, and drove by 3 or 4. We hit the jackpot, though, when we found a carpet sweeper. For those who don't know, Ethan loves the vacuum cleaner. He is always helping me vacuum by moving the cord for me. If I want him to be entertained for at least half an hour while I have to do something, I bring out the vacuum for him to play with and explore. Anyway, we were at a friends' house a few weeks back, and their daughter has a toy vacuum cleaner. For the four hours that we were there, that was the toy that Ethan loved the most. Michael and I were joking with our friends that it was too bad that they didn't make working toy vacuums, because then it would make our jobs a lot easier. Just send to kids to vacuum! Thats when we came up with the idea with getting Ethan a carpet sweeper for Christmas. I was even going to pay full retail price for it. At the yard sale today, however, I found it for the grand price of $1, and it had only been used twice. Ethan was 'sweeping up a storm'!


The weekend isn't even over yet, and already we've had a great time as a family. I love that what we have done has not only been inexpensive, but also productive and useful. This is something that Michael and I are trying to impress upon our children, and ourselves. The existentialist mindset is that of the pursuit of fun and amusement, simply for the sake of entertainment. Michael and I are not against fun, but we want our children to be productive; to be producers, not simply consumers. We had thought about doing something 'fun', like Chuck E Cheese, or the Aquarium, maybe going to a park and running around. They all would have been fine and good, but would they have been the best?

I'm so glad that we stayed in the AC, and had a good time working together as a family, having fun, but while being productive. Ethan won't remember this weekend, but by building on this foundation, he will be able to learn so much! He can learn how to bake, how to look for great deals on things that we would like to buy...and he will learn and know that his parents love and enjoy him. I want my children to know that they are needed assets to this family, that they are not just loved and enjoyed, but really and truly needed.

Equality Among Brothers

When I first found out that I was pregnant, I wondered if I would be able to love my second born as much as I loved Ethan. Of course, I KNEW I was having a girl(uproarious laughter), so I wasn't too concerned with them having to compete for my affection. The first daughter would most definitely not feel inadequate or unloved; after all, she was still a first. As God planned it, Jane Victoria has not yet made her appearance, but instead Caleb Nathan graced us with his presence. He and Ethan are going to be such good friends, and Ethan loves him so much already. Next summer will be an absolute blast, and my two boys will be running around doing everything together. I am very grateful that we have two boys.

Once we found out that we were having a Caleb instead of a Jane, my fear was still that he would still not feel as loved as Ethan. Ethan's arrival came with such fanfare...I had four baby showers, everyone was always asking about how he was doing...and everyone still does. When we were gone for 2 months, our church family kept on saying how much they missed Ethan...and Michael and Allie, of course. :)

Throughout my pregnancy, I felt like I had to defend myself for 'getting' pregnant so soon. There were so many negative comments made...and I did NOT want my son to feel that he wasn't wanted, or that we would regret having him. There are differences between the pregnancies of the first born, and all the subsequent babies to follow. With your first, everything is so new and foreign. You have no idea what to expect, and because its all so new, there's an air of excitement about everything, even the mundane things.

A friend of mine who also has two 15 months apart said that after her first son was born, she was so in awe of him, and full of adrenaline and just taking it all in. With her second, it was like, "Okay, I have another baby". No less amount of love, but it just wasn't as...novel, I guess. I can completely relate to her assessment. But I wonder if my lack of awe will be translated as a lack of love.

Have any other mothers felt this way, or am I the only crackpot out here?

When Caleb was first born, I wanted to make sure that he felt just as loved as Ethan...so I insisted on buying him a baby book, even though he already had a scrapbook that would suffice. Why? Because Ethan had a baby book and a scrapbook, and I didn't want Caleb to feel like he deserved less. Silly, I know, but I was so adamant about it.

I've always struggled with the idea that something can be equal, but be different. When I first became a Christian and learned about submission, I basically began espousing that women were to be servants to men, and were not of equal importance. That is a complete lie, and misunderstanding of what Scripture teaches. I'm sure that its okay, and normal, for the reactions to be different between first borns and all the rest. As time goes on, I will probably accept this, and hopefully with the next baby, it won't even be an issue.

I am praying that Michael and I have wisdom in making sure that all our children feel loved, which will be difficult considering the fact that we hope to have a large family. I do know that there is enough 'room in my heart' for both my boys, and for all the rest that come along. I love watching Michael talk to Caleb, and to see Ethan give the baby kisses. And I LOVE it when Caleb smiles.

Sleeping Babies...that don't sleep.

Caleb is turning into Ethan at this age.

As some know, Ethan was not a sleeper until he hit 4 months. Until that point, my goal was one 30 minute nap a day. When I first became a mother I was shocked that my sweet little baby would not sleep. I distinctly remember when he was 3 weeks old he was up for 14 hours straight, with one 45 minute nap in my arms. Thankfully, even that was not the norm, and he would 'catnap' in my arms throughout the day. But, he was usually awake, and definitely wouldn't sleep for much longer than half an hour.

For the past few days, Caleb has not taken more than an hour long nap in his cradle, and it hasn't been coordinating with Ethan's nap. Today, he slept on and off for most of the morning, but every time I laid him down he was awake within 20 minutes. I got a shower in, thankfully, but he woke up in the middle of it. I nursed him, he fell asleep, I laid him down...and he woke up 10 minutes later as I was eating lunch. I played with him, walked him around, and laid him on my chest for the next half hour, during which he fell asleep...for a total of 15 minutes. At his next feeding, he finally fell asleep, and I laid him down. He slept for...half an hour. :) Ethan was coloring while I was writing thank you notes, when I heard that tell-tale cry emanating from my bedroom. Sigh.

As a first time mother, I didn't know that you could do things while the baby was awake. Now I know that I can. Caleb has a nice little spot on a table runner on my kitchen table...I should post a picture. He stares out the glass door, usually content, although there are times that cry he must as I clean Ethan up, do dishes, make dinner, and all the things that come with being a wife and mother.

Today I washed dishes, made coffee, cooked pancakes and eggs for breakfast, took a shower, ate lunch, made up nursing tea (which tastes awful, by the way), am washing my cloth diapers, and made lunch for Ethan and Michael. Dinner is thawing in the fridge, and I'll be going on a walk in a little while. I NEVER would have gotten this much done when Ethan was 7 weeks old...I don't think I started getting even a fraction of this done until he was 4 or 5 months old. What a difference between a firstborn and a second born.

Hopefully Caleb will begin taking better naps soon, and he will be on more of a schedule. Michael will be starting up school full time in a few weeks, and when that begins I will no longer have him home to help. Basically he'll be leaving as soon as the boys get up, and getting home right before I put Ethan to bed. I know that I'll be able to do it...I have other Navy Wife friends whose husbands are never home to help...and they can still smile and laugh through it. I need to start getting ready for him to be gone, because in three short years he will be deployed , and I will have to experience 'single mommyhood' for myself.

Caleb just fell asleep again while nursing...I'm going to go lay him down.

A Day in the Life

As every mother knows, there are good days and there are bad days. Most of the days in my life are good. There have surprisingly few 'bad days' since Caleb arrived. They usually occur because Ethan and Caleb's naps don't coordinate, and so my usual 2 hours of productivity are gone. Thankfully, Ethan is now a great nap taker and rarely fights sleep, and Caleb will eventually fall asleep, even if its not within the time frame that I want. Caleb is 'waking up', and instead of taking 3-4 long naps, he's now taking at least one good long nap, with a few 'mini naps' scattered throughout the day.

Caleb's starting to smile, and, oh, it is a beautiful sight. I love it when they start smiling back at you. Whenever Michael or I hold Caleb now, we're always trying to get him to smile. Its great when they start responding to you, and acting more like a person rather than a doll that eat, sleeps and poops all day. He's developing his own personality, and I know that I need to make sure that I keep Caleb's identity separate from Ethan's. A friend at church told me that she had failed to do that with her two boys who are 15 months apart. While their personalities are different, the younger one had lost himself in the older. When the older son went to college, the younger was left aimless, as if his other half was gone. I want all of my children to be close, but not to their detriment. Especially with Michael and I most likely having many children close together, we'll have to be aware of the fact that our children need to have something to call their own, whether it be a talent or a hobby or something. I think that Ethan will be more of the Alpha Male, and Caleb will be more of a follower. I'll have to make sure that Ethan doesn't overrun his brother...or 'mother hen' him too much. :)

Right now Ethan's climbing on a half-sleeping Michael. He's pointing to his feet, kissing his cheeks, and attempting to stick his finger up Daddy's nose. He's trying to pull the blanket off of Michael, and is making lots of insistent 'ma' noises, while emphatically rubbing his chest in the sign for 'please'. Caleb is nursing as I write, half asleep. Ethan and I are also listening to the thunder in the distance, even though all I see out my window is blue sky.

Today is a good day.