Scheduling Feedings

Schedules, schedules....the word makes some tremble in fear, and to others it brings comfort and security. I love schedules, and order; chaos gives me a headache. To be able to at least know a general idea of the Plan of the Day is the first step, for me at least, in being productive.

Schedules, however, are different from scheduling. When I speak of scheduling, I am talking about putting a baby/child on a feeding schedule, as opposed to demand feeding. For some qualification, I am not talking about putting your newborn(or even your 6 month old) on a 4 hour schedule, and letting them scream from hunger in between. That's just...illogical.

Unfortunately, I was one of those illogical people. When Ethan was 6 months old I worked him up to a four hour feeding schedule. He didn't cry in between feedings, in fact he was very content. However, he stopped gaining a significant amount of weight. When he should have gained 3-4 pounds, he barely gained one. Then I got pregnant with Caleb. Even though I was feeding Ethan every 2 1/2 hours, because my milk had gone down due to the pregnancy, he still wasn't growing as he should. This was when he was 9 months old. We went to whole milk...and he fattened up so well! He was still slender, but by his 12 month check up he was right where he should be.

For the past 5 1/2 weeks I have not had Caleb on a schedule. My first reason was that he was a small baby at only 6 lbs 9 oz. He didn't want to nurse a lot in the beginning. He was one of those strange sleeping babies (Ethan wasn't), who I had to wake up to nurse. A good friend gave me the advice with Ethan to let him demand feed for the first month. I did, as I have with Caleb. However, I've also been taking the easy way out and nursing him whenever he gets fussy. This is not a habit that I want to continue. Yesterday began the first day of his schedule.

Some comments on the pros and cons of scheduling. I have read the book Babywise, which I do recommend. However, it drove me crazy in the beginning with Ethan because he didn't go by the book! He would not go 2 1/2 hours between feedings, he wanted to nurse after an hour and a half. Nursing sessions didn't take 30 minutes, they took more like an hour. And the biggest thing? My wonderful son didn't sleep in the beginning, and certainly not like the book said that he would.

First lesson as a new mom-your child is unique and wonderful, and they will not always do what the 'experts' say that they will.

Some of the pros of scheduling are that it teaches the child from the beginning that Daddy and Mommy are in control. This is vital. It also helps them sleep through the night sooner. I have many friends that demand feed, and many that 'schedule'. The biggest contrast is that the children that are demand fed are not sleeping through the night, and those that are 'scheduled' are. This, of course, is not a rule. I know of some who did demand feeding, and their children all slept through the night by 12 weeks. Scheduling feedings throughout the day helps to regulate a child's body so that he can go longer at night. The only time that I had to have Ethan cry it out at night was when he was waking up after already establishing sleeping through the night. It was unusual for him to wake up at night, and it was then that I let him cry it out.

Yesterday went great. Caleb did very well. I'm nursing him every hour and a half to two hours. Prior to this, he was nursing every 40 minutes to an hour. We're already on a schedule because of Ethan, so we all get up between 6:30 and 7 AM. He only nurses for about 10 minutes on each side, so our sessions are fairly short. I try to keep him awake as much as I can in the morning so that I can make sure that he'll take a nap when Ethan does. I find that Caleb is a lot like Ethan was, he wants to be held and walked around. So I'm back to walking around the house, talking to Ethan while he's on the potty, singing to soothe the 'savage beast' in my arms. Caleb even made it all the way through Ethan's bath last night without nursing, for the first time! He was quite a content little guy, with his head resting on my shoulder, his eyes wide open and alert.

A great balanced article by Debi Pearl helped me a lot when I was pregnant with Ethan and doing all the preliminary research on raising children. I would highly recommend reading the article, and anything else you can find on their site. While I don't agree with everything doctrinally, I pretty much go to their writings if I have a question on anything marriage or child training related. Did I mention that they have a free newsletter that is absolutely great? I look forward to receiving it every couple of months.

In conclusion, what I've come to realize is that you have to know your child. My husband is always telling me that you can't just blindly rely on mapquest or a GPS. We've travelled often enough to learn that even technology can make mistakes. In the same way, books and advice can be wrong, especially because each child is unique in and of themselves. One child may be fine with going 3 hours between feedings, and other might need to nurse every hour and a half. As my husband has said with navigating, read the signs. Know the signs of hunger and malnutrition, of them needing more attention, of them needing you. Caleb doesn't have my 100 percent attention because I have Ethan. He may need me to sit and nurse him more often that Ethan did, because he needs that one-on-one time that he gets with nursing.